Badass

 The other day after work and school, I put Lou in her exersaucer on the porch. Set up The Phi with a snack and a coloring book on the porch and I mowed the lawn. I thought "it's good for them to see their Mom do these kinds of things". To see thier Mommy working hard. To know that Mom is not a delicate flower but is capable of getting things done!

Recently I wrote about how my parents built the house we grew-up in. During that time that they built the house my perception of my Mom changed. I had always seen my Mom and just that, a Mom. She was the best kind of stay-at-home Mom. Always there to play with us, read with us, sing to us, help us with projects, feed us and love us.

Then they built the house and I watched my Mom put up walls, nail shingles to a roof, landscape, pour cement, paint. And at just about 5 feet tall she's a petite thing! I watched her work just as hard (sometimes harder) than the men on their team. She would leave in her work clothes and come home dirty and sweaty and happy.

When we moved into the house my Mom was no longer just that awesome Mom who loved us and spent her days taking care of us. My Mom became a "badass". She was strong and capable of anything. I mean the woman helped build a house. And not just picked carpet color. But build a house. Today I know my Mom can do anything.

I'm on a horse

Recently we attended a birthday party for my bosses grand-daughter. The Phi and Kelly have known each other since Kelly was born and they had a blast at the party. It was a grand shindig with an amazing horse theme.

Horses are my bosses passion in life and at the birthday party she got to show off Cylde. A horse she has just for the kids to ride. Part of the party was horseback rides for the kids. I was not sure if The Phi would want to get on the horse. It was not the same as the little ponies at the pumpkin patch. She was so excited and got right on.

Lou and Daddy sitting around the arena watching The Phi on a horse.

Safety First!

With some help from Merijane and Alfredo The Phi is on a horse!

Lou having fun with Daddy!
(thanks J-dub!)

The Phi ON A HORSE. Walking around the arena.

When Merijane asked if she wanted to go around one more time, she enthusiastically said yes. She loved it.

My boss Merijane has some very beautiful horses in her barn. Simply gorgeous animals.

We had a fantastic time and The Phi hopes to ride again very soon!

Thanks Merijane!

All About Phi

I swear I have so much more fun with these assignments than The Phi does.

It was finally The Phi's turn to be the Student of the Week and part of the celebration was putting together an "All About The Phi" poster. I was a tad bit disappointed it was a fill-in the blanks project, but we still had a lot of fun with it.

Just a quick note and you don't think The Phi is a spectacular printer. I wrote the words and she traced them.

This is what I look like....

I used as current as a picture as I could find. At this age The Phi looks different from one day to the next. 

My Family.....

I looked for semi-silly photos of us. You know to show off our fun and playful side.

When I grow up I want to be....

The Phi was very adamant about being both a ballerina AND a farmer. So a dancer like Tia Uh-laine and a farmer just like Tata! 

My favorite things to do are....

The Phi is still riding around with training wheels on her bike, but she has just graduated to a bigger bike, with bigger training wheels. And her coloring is a bit messy but when she concentrates she can crank out a masterpiece!

My Favorite Place.....

I think this would be the same answer for EVERYONE in my family. 

If I could have one wish, I would wish for.....

Nope not world peace for this kid. She wants a Unicorn, a Unicorn she can name Rainbow.

Oh to be 5 years old.

The American Dream

Recently my parents did something completely awesome. They paid off their house. They have succeeded at the all-American dream and are full out, deed in hand, home owners. It really is an awesome thing. The house is not the one that my parents live in now, but where my sister and her family live.

It got me thinking about that house. The house is one of my parents proudest accomplishments. And not just because they have paid it off. No its a great accomplishment because they built it with their own 2 hands.

Back in the late 80's a cousin of my Mom's told her about a program that helped low-income families own a home. In a small town about 30 miles away from our hometown there was a project that sold houses at a very low price. The catch? You had to build it yourself. Sweat-equity they called it. I am sure hundreds applied. And after months of waiting we found out that we had gotten a lot. And not just us, but my Tia Mary & Tio Miguel had also got a lot. And not just any spot, but the lot right next door to ours!

This is how the program worked. They grouped the new homeowners into groups of 10 families. We were in Group #5. So we had to wait until groups 1-4 were finished building and then the work began. All the supplies were provided as well as a Foreman who would guide everyone in the building. All 10 families worked on all 10 homes. When the foundation was poured, all 10 foundations were poured.

It took about 10 months to build all 10 homes in Group 5. During those 10 months my parents sacrificed every weekend and sometimes weekday evenings. At the time I was about 12, Ouie was about 9 and Elaine was about 4. All my Tia's and Tio's and Grandparents took turns take care of the 3 of us every weekend. To us we were so annoyed by this and there seemed to be no end. In reality it was my parents really sacrificing and putting in so much hard work spending every weekend for 10 months, BUILDING US A HOUSE!

Back then I was NOT happy about this move. I did not want to leave the only place I knew. I had most of my family close by and there was the whole school situation. I had gone to the same small school with the same 28 people since kindergarten. We were going to be moving the summer before my 8th grade year. 8th grade was the best year. After 8 long years you were finally at the top of the food chain. There was the big 8th grade trip to Anacapa Island and of course graduation! The thought of missing all that put my angry teen aged-ness to an all time high. I hated this new house. I hated this new town. I was sick of getting up early every weekend.

We eventually come to an agreement. I would not miss my 8th grade year. I was going to get to graduate with my class. My emo-ness went away and my nervousness and worries moved on to the following year where I would have to go to a new high school in a new town where I wouldn't know anyone.

My parents did everything from framing, windows, stucco. They poured their hearts and sweat into this house. Yes the term sweat-equity was right on. I even remember some morning talk show did a story on the project.

We would get to go once in a while to see the progress on the house. We would walk the framed area and my parents would point out the rooms. "Here's our kitchen. And Cari and Elaine will share this room. And Liss this will be your room.". It was hard to imagine that these wooden frames would every look like a real house.

It must have been such an amazing process to watch a house come up from nothing. Eventually I was able to really see what our new home would look like.

The stucco went on and next was paint. There was still so much to do but with all the dangerous stuff out of the way we were able to go more often and we were quickly put to work too.

Here is me circa 1990 painting my door. This bedroom was mine, then it was Cari's, then it was Cari and Chone's. Then it was Elaine's. And today Lili and Felix call it home.

We have an end lot and a very long and curvy driveway. We can fit quite a bit of cars on this thing.

Today my parents own this house free and clear. This must be a wonderful feeling. One Joey and I may feel in about 23 years. But to own a home that your build with your bare hands must feel even better. Our move to this house ended up being one of the best things for me. That high school I was so afraid of ended up being 4 of some of  the greatest years of my life. I met friends there that are still close and important in my life.

Now 21 years later I am finally getting around to this. Thank you Mom and Pops. Thank for sacrificing your time for 10 months to build us a home. I will always be grateful to you for providing us with a beautiful home where we felt safe and secure. One that we grew up in, that we made some awesome memories in and one we continue to enjoy with the kids parties and other celebrations.

When it rains...

These are the days that I wish we were renters.......

When we bought the house in 2004 it came with a washer and a dryer. Our best guess is that they are from the early 70's. There is a good chance that those appliances are older than Joey. AND THAT"S OLD PEOPLE!!!

We knew it would be a matter of time, and that time finally came. The dryer broke on us. Being the lazy spoiled brats that we are, instead of hanging the clothes out to dryer, we packed up the kids and headed to Home Depot to price dryers. $350.00 for the cheapest gas dryer, so no dryer that day. We checked a few more places with the same price range. Which was out of our price range. Since we have been working hard to stay away from credit cards and (even more) debit we needed something we could afford in cash.

So we made our first Craigslist purchase.

So for A LOT less than $350.00 we bought a used gas dryer. Joey brought it home and installed it. I half expected it to not work. But it did. And still is. Who knew.

Not even 2 weeks later, yesterday to be more exact, I broke a window.

So the story goes........

There was a bee behind the curtain. I could see it's ugly little shadow. I have never been stung, and with all her allergies chances are The Phi is allergic to bee stings. So I grabbed one of Lou's plastic toys and went to smash the bee. I smack the curtain, missed the stupid bee, but hit the window hard enough to hear "crack". Luckily it is a small window, unluckily we have double-pane windows.

Next up is going to be our water heater. It's days are numbered.

Like I said, these are the days I wish we were renters.

I never miss an opportunity to get revenge. I mean teach.

The other night as I was putting the girls to bed I mentioned to Joey that I still needed to wash bottles before we could begin our routine of wine and reality TV. The Phi huffed and with all the attitude of an almost 6 year old said...

"Wash bottles? That's easy, you just put them in the water. That's not hard."

Oh really? I am never one to pass up an educational opportunity and this kid was in need of a lesson. Very quickly I came back with...

"Really? Okay, then I will leave 2 bottles for you to wash after school tomorrow."

That wiped that little grin off her face REAL fast.

So the next day after school she did her homework, and by the sink there were 2 dirty bottles waiting for her.

In the end she learned that washing bottles is a little more complicated than putting them in water. And BONUS.... she thought it was kind of fun and I am pretty sure I can convince her to do it more often!

Mama Update

I am still determined to get Lou to say "mama". Here is our "session" this morning...



As you can tell we have made no progress in the "mama" department, but she has "bye" down.

A Portrait Session

In our bedroom and in our living room wall the most current portrait we had up was of The Phi when she was about 3 years old. Obviously we needed an updated portrait. The Phi has grown so much and of course there was the whole we have a whole other kid now. So we have always had great luck at The Picture People. So I downloaded a coupon, made an appointment and took out the matching dresses my sister Elaine had bought the girls months ago.

I was a bit stressed about how the session would go. Lou will not sit still for me these days. So I was assuming the photographer would have a hard time getting Lou to pose. Once we got the girls dressed and hair combed it was showtime. And Lou, well, she was fantastic!

The proof is in the pictures.......

This is the photo we chose for the coupon package. And I intended to only buy the $18 package, but some of the other photos were impossible to pass up. So $80 later we came home with these.....

Holding hands and how perfectly gorgeous does my Phi look? How could I leave this photo behind?

Sickening adorable right? I mean one day they are going to be fighting like cats and dogs and I can show them this photo as proof at how much they love each other.

The photographer asked if we had a costume change. I had not planned on one but I realized that the clothes I had brought for the girls to change into were kinda cool and could make some good pictures. So we changed their outfits and grabbed some props and this happened......

Now obviously this picture is amazing. My children are super radical rock stars.

And the background and colors will look fantastic in a black frame in my office.

And now the.......

pièce de résistance 

 

Yes those are fake mustaches on my beautiful babies! The other night at dinner we ran into a quarter machine with fake stick on mustaches. We love those things so we got 2 and I threw them in my purse. During the photo shoot I came across them and asked the photographer if we could do a picture with the 'staches. He loved the idea.

Now just guess which one is now proudly hanging in our living room???

That's right the mustache one.

Next up getting a new family portrait to replace the one we have hanging from November 2005.

Open Wounds

As the year goes by it feels like healing is happening. The hurt slightly subsides and you can begin to remember only the good things. Then before you know it the anniversary is here and it's like the scab has been removed and you're bleeding again.

Recently a family from our old neighborhood lost their 5 year old grandson. I want to tell the family that it's hard right now but with time it's easier, but I am finding out, 4 years later that it's not.

I miss Roman more today than I did a year ago. Seeing his picture hurts more now than it did 2 years ago. The heartache, the tear stained faces, even the sounds of the crying from the funeral are more vivid and somehow even louder in my head.

My Tia Concha, Roman's Mom, told me once that when a baby smiles in their sleep they are playing with angels. There were countless times when Louella was asleep in my arms and a big smile would cross her face, and my heart knew that Roman was with her. Playing peek-a-boo, talking with her, and making silly faces. As Louella would smile, my heart was filled because I knew that even though Louella will never know Cousin Roman in our world, she was already getting to know him in his. I know that when Louella was in the hospital for those awful 5 days, Roman stayed with her and with me.

The last time I wore my In Memory of Roman t-shirt was exactly a year ago. I was pregnant with Louella. This morning I had my t-shirt on, Lou was having a rough morning. She had been up crying since 5:45 am. It was now 7:45 and the tears were still flowing. I went to change her diaper and as soon as she sat up she looked over at my t-shirt and was eye-to-eye with Roman. She immediately stopped crying, and gave a giant smile as if to say "Hi!". There was a happy recognition on her face.

She reached out and touched his face and began to chat with Roman. It was as if she was reconnecting with an old friend. If there was any doubt that Louella had met Roman is heaven before we had her, it was all gone.

Even though I miss my Cousin Roman more than I thought I could, knowing that he is in heaven watching over our entire family is comforting. We have our own special Angel in heaven. Despite how comforting that thought is, I would give it up to have Roman back.

I miss you Roman and I love you so much.
Rest In Peace

Happy 36th

 Today my parents celebrate 36 years of marriage. 

Growing up I was one of the odd balls.

One of the few kids whose parents were not divorced. 

Thanks for making me an odd ball Mom and Pops. 

And for being such a great role models of how fun and exciting marriage can be.

Happy Anniversay and tonite we raises our glasses to your 36 years.

And to all the adventures yet to come. 

Guspy!

Re-ferberizing Lou

With both The Phi and with Lou, Joey and I used the Ferber method of sleep training. The whole cry-it-out method. We have a bed time routine, do our best to stick to it, put the baby to bed and let them cry until they fall asleep. The Phi was sleeping through the night at 4 months without any issues. Lou had been on the same path and at about 8 months was sleeping though the night. Until she got sick. A bad cold left her waking up in the night when too much mucus made it hard for her to breathe. Eventually Lou got better and went back to normal. except for her sleeping patterns.

She would consistently wake up in the middle of the night. Now with The Phi, we would have checked on her and then let her cry it out until she went back to bed. This time around with Lou we don't have that option. The girls share a bedroom and even though The Phi is a pretty heavy sleeper she needs her sleep since she has be up at 7am for school. We had been giving Lou a bottle to put her back to sleep and it worked like a charm. But it was a bad habit, especially now that she has teeth. So we had to go back to the cry-it-out method but with a twist. Now when she cries at night we go into the room and take her out of her crib into our bedroom where we put her in her Amby where she can cry it out.

We have been looking at this face a lot.

Luckily in just a few days, it already seems to be working. The last few days she has slept through the night. Last night she even went to bed with out the water works.

I have heard the pros and cons for Ferberizing kids. For us it just works. I am not the kind of Mom who can't stand to hear their babies cry. It sounds so cold-hearted but I can stand to hear Lou cry. It's never for too long and I know that in the end it's best for her. Sleep is important. And with 1/2 of Joey's DNA the kids have the risk of being awful sleepers like their Dad. I believe we are giving her life-long tools to help her get the most sleep.

Sleep methods are a hot parenting topic. So tell me how do you deal with getting your baby to sleep?

Perfect 10

Louie,

We call you our "crazy one". Our 10 month photo session just proved you deserve the nickname. When you are grown-up and look at all your month photo sessions and you ask me "Why did you do such a horrible job on my 10 month pictures?" I will shake my head and tell you because you were crazy and would not sit still.

You are into everything. You will pull yourself up onto anything you can. We are constantly pulling you away from the dog bowl. If you are sitting on the floor with all your toys around you, you will find a shoe or dvd case that is more interesting. You are "talking" more and pointing at things and most recently you learned to clap. It's super cute.

Despite the fact that you look so much like you sister, you are proving to have a very different personality. While your sister was shy around people, you adore the attention strangers give you. And with a face like yours you get so much attention. People stop us CONSTANTLY!

Lou, I cannot believe that 10 month have passed since that amazing day you came into our world. We are planning your birthday party! Incredible. You are growing out of clothes so fast and I get so sad when I clean out your closet. You are growing up so fast and even though you are flourishing and I love watching you grow I can't believe my baby is so big.

You challenge me daily.Trying to keep you entertained and still get everything done that needs to get done has shown me that I am way more creative that I ever thought I could be. You have also showed me that I have much more patience than I thought I had.

The Phi is still your most favorite person on the planet. She can just do a little dance and you are cracking up. Your Daddy is your second favorite person and every single time he looks at you, you get that little sly smile across your face. Which of course leaves me at third. (Possibly 4th because you really do like Roo too). I am just happy to be your Mom.

You, Phi and Daddy are my whole heart and if I could spend everyday just hanging out with the 3 of you I would.

You are my "crazy one". My wild, happy, outgoing, curious, and beautiful one.

Love,
Mom