There is one person in our house that you do not know much about. Uncle Matty.
Uncle Matty has lived with PR Dad and I for....... well a long time. He is currently working on his MS and we do not get to see too much of him these days. Now if there is one thing you should know about Uncle Matty its this... He is a passionate man. He is a talented musician who uses lyric writing as a way to expresses his deepest of emotions and by deep emotions I mean songs about midgets, his feelings about the French, burning down houses and techno music.
There is one thing that Uncle Matty loves more than anything else in the world. His heart has and always will belong to one thing......
Diet Coke
And not one can will satisfy his thirst. Not one 20 oz bottle could quench it. Instead this is what Uncle Matty uses to hold the amount of Diet Coke he needs daily......
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32 oz Gatorade bottle for size comparison
Yes you have seen this ridiculously big tubs at your local gas station. You have probably wondered "Who buys these things? Who can drink that much soda?"
The answer is Uncle Matty.
The answer is Uncle Matty.
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Uncle Matty is a very happy man with his cup. Although I think by law that cup needs a car seat.
Matty was so excited to share his new cup with PR Dad. But PR Dad was a bit terrified of this giant monstrosity being in our home. But Uncle Matty convinced him that this cup not only holds 100 oz of liquid (yes thats one hundred!) but can bring the Punk Rock Family together. This thing has multiple holes for straws on top. All 4 of us could literally drink from this thing at the same time. Aww nice thought but for the record.........
WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
update**
Uncle Matty just called and sent this picture over.
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Yes its seat belted in.He just filled it up and can you guess what he paid to fill it up?
99 cents!!!!
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Gotta love Uncle Matty. Love the pic of him and PR Dad.
ReplyDeleteHey I know that AM/PM ha ha
ReplyDeletedoesn't all that aspartame scare uncle matty???
ReplyDeleteI saw this giant cup before. In anatomy class it held a human brain. At Costco it held two year's worth of mayonnaise.
ReplyDelete100 oz is 8.3 cans of diet Coke, or about five times adult bladder capacity.
Are your kidneys screaming "uncle (Matty)" yet :-)
Holy crap he seat belted it in. Haha! Does it have a name?
ReplyDeleteThe kidneys exist to excrete nitrogen and maintain fluid balance in the body. They love it when I drink gallons of the sweet nectar since they barely have to work. Those poor bastards that bought into the atkins diet will be enjoying spending their golden years hooked to a dialysis machine from all the excess protein that their poor kidneys had to get rid of.
ReplyDeleteKidney failure can happen easier from not drinking enough fluid (diet coke is around 99% water) than from drinking too much fluid.
If I were to replace that with regular coke, the resulting blood sugar spike would likely trigger kidney failure like it does in diabetics.
Uncle Matty out.