Coping

It has been 7 months since our Roman passed away. The family has gone on and continued with all our usual shenanigans and such. But how are we really coping? Many of us are still grieving, others still is disbelief, someone are staying strong, while other are so afraid of forgetting. We are are dealing and coping in our own ways. Doing what we feel is right. We are figuring out life without his physical presences with us. We are learning how to live with just his spirit and memory. He will never ever be forgotten. He is in each and every single one of us. The hurt is still strong, but so are all our happy and funny memories. These happy thoughts will remain with us long after the hurt has subsided. They will remain in us forever. We believe that he is in heaven and is an angel watching over us. My 8 year old niece has commented on occasion how happy she is that Roman was watching over Elaine during the car accident. I could not agree more. One of my first thoughts, after I realized the extent of my sisters accident and injuries was "Thank you Roman, this could have been worse". He is with us and watches over us as we go about our everyday lives. I can feel his presence, sometimes so strong. I have moments of sheer sadness when a songs lyric hits my heart, or when a random picture of Roman comes up on my computer screen. The sadness is strong and brings tears to my eyes, but I have not cried like I did the day we buried his body. I will always miss my cousin and I will always be sad that he is not physically with us. My family is holding together. As we trip and stumble through life without Roman we have each other to hold onto. Sometimes we have to hold each other tightly, other times we just need a reassuring hand on our shoulder. We know how lucky we were to have him in our lives for 19 years. And we know that all of memories and stories will always be shared so that the next generation will remember him as vividly as we do.